


The SQUIP returns

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27166559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chloe honestly has so much potential as a character and I wanted to explore that but I can only do angst so hence angstFuture TW's coming in further chaptersComment and share your thoughts, ideas, concerns etc.
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!!!  
> Feel free to comment!!! I love to hear what you all have to say, and I'm open for suggestions, praise or if you are just sick and tired of the angst? Someone to yell at

“Ms. Valentine?” As though she was being shaken from a slumber, Chloe snapped to attention suddenly, blushing furiously. At her side, Brooke flashed her a sympathetic smile, as Jeremy tried to control his sniggering. Confident that he had her attention, Mr. Reyes continued with his lesson. Chastised, Chloe returned her gaze to her paper. With slight satisfaction, she noted a small note scrawled in the corner in Brookes clean, neat handwriting. It read, “ Rough luck Chlo, better luck next time ;)” She returned the favor with a slight look, which Brooke gave right back to her. Snorting, Chloe rapidly rearranged her features into what she hoped looked like a complentative and thoughtful look. A drama queen perhaps, but she was nothing if not apt at disguising her feelings. If she was upset, the school would know (and probably champion against whatever it was she claimed bothered her.) But her deeper feelings? Those got shoved under. Not that nobody knew them, she reminded herself quickly. Being her best friend since the second grade did give Brooke certain glimpses into Chloe as she was beneath the personality she had so quickly adapted. But now there was an audience, and class was over. Brooke's constant presence in the classes she was in had been a direct result of the massive tantrum/ persuasion tactic Chloe had employed after the disaster that had been 7th period English with Mrs. McGuyver back in 8th grade. Aside from that period, (ending with Mrs. McGuyver practically begging the principal to transfer her to Brookes class) the duo was always together. Any outsider would claim it was simply the result of a childhood spent together. The truth was something bordering on that, being that their bond had made them nearly inseparable. Brooke brought a certain level-headedness and calm to their friendship, while Chloe helped the duo to not only get through but dominate what could kindly be described as the social scene of the school. For all her charms, Chloe would only ever state Brooke (confidently) as her true friend.

Brooke at her side, Chloe made her way to the cafeteria, where the SQUIP squad was waiting as they always were. Jeremy was deep in conversation with Michael and Christine while Rich and Jake were swapping stories. Clearing her throat, Chloe announced her presence in her usual theatrical way. Slamming her tray down onto the middle of the table, she slid onto the bench as Brooke moved in next to her. Everyone, being used to this by now, barely even flinched. Christine was the first to notice her, exchanging hellos and prompting the boys to look up as well. “Why hello, ‘Ms. Valentine’” Jeremy greeted in what was a pretty good imitation of Mr. Reye’s strong accent. Rich looked as though he was about to react, but a glare from Chloe shot down any remarks. “Unfounded” Chloe began, “ I was paying perf-” A sharp gasp of pain cut off her words as a sudden, intense headache struck her suddenly. “Are you okay?” asked Brooke and Jeremy in unison, as everyone else looked on in concern. “I’m fine, really” she insisted in response to Brooke's dubious glance. “Like I was saying…” 

But whatever her thoughts had been exactly were cut off by another pang deep inside her head, as though it was rooted in her brain. Gritting her teeth to avoid another scene, she forced her attention back to whatever Brooke was now talking about with Christine. As that pounding feeling grew, she stopped trying to pay attention and just tried to stop herself from informing anyone about what was going on. Just sit, smile and nod. She’d perfected that years ago, but never while trying to avoid… something. If she could describe it, she’d say it was an almost clawing feeling. Sit and force those perfect, petal pink, full lips into a smile, leave no room for doubt and questions. Nobody had to know anything. Just pretend, just trying to survive. Make it to the end of the period. If you can’t do that, fake it. All is well. If you have to break down, not here. Up and make your excuses. Reply to any concern with nonchalance and a quick smile. Whatever it takes to get away. Then and only then, is it time. Bearing all this in mind, Chloe quickly excused herself and walked over to the restroom. Ten more steps and another burst of pressure. Nine steps and a blinding pain growing closer. Eight steps and god she wasn’t sure how far she was going to get. Seven steps and another push forward. Do not focus on the pain just yet. Six, five, four. She was fairly certain that she knew what was happening now, not that it did anything. Three, two and finally. Locking the door to a stall, she sank to her knees onto the modern black and white tiles and clamped her hands to her head, as though she could physically force out the pain this way. It was the only thing she could do. A knock on the door, repetitive. It continued, as did the pain, each pang increasingly excruciating. A particularly fierce pang forced an agonized scream out of her. Finally escaping the confines of her lips, which were now bleeding from her biting down on them as an attempt to do something to keep the attention at bay. At that, the knocking at the stall door became increasingly frantic. 

“Chlo?! Are you in there? What’s going on?” Brooke's voice had increased an octave in her panic, but Chloe couldn’t seem to answer, her screaming seeming to become more and more desperate in response. At this, Brooke ran into the cafeteria. In between pants, she managed to convey the basics to the squad, “Chloe -bathroom - screaming”. The basics were all it took to get them on their feet, each face mirroring the same look of concern. When they got to the bathroom, Brooke guided them over to the stall, where the screaming was continuing, as though it was being forced out of her. Without hesitating, Rich had managed to kick the stall door in. The sight of Chloe on the ground, now curled up as though in the fetal position, seemed to prompt something in all of them. Immediately there was a flurry of movement. Brooke had sunk to the floor as well, gently guiding Chloe toward her until Chloe's head was laying across her chest. Something about the touch of someone else comforted Chloe, though the pains had not stopped. Exhausted, her screams had given way to sharp gasps. Christine and Jake had rushed back to the cafeteria to grab water, while Rich found a custodian and Michael ran toward the nurses' office. This left Jeremy, who was attempting to open all the windows in the bathroom in hopes that the air may help. In the stall, Brooke stretched out so that she could comfortably stroke Chloe's voluminous brunette curls, whispering something to her. Meanwhile, within Chloe's brain, the pain had given way to a forming shape. Christine and Jake returned, but stopped at the sight of Chloe’s head laying across Brooke’s chest. It seemed like something that shouldn’t be interrupted, when Brooke looked up from Chloe, her stroking never ceasing. Brooke smiled at them weakly, conveying her thanks. Jeremy came back to the stall then, also taking note of the position but not commenting. “All the windows are open. I’m not sure how much help it’ll be, but always worth a shot.” Brooke nodded slightly, resuming her whispering. Christine, noting her hair, which had escaped everywhere stepped forward. Holding up a scrunchie, she looked at Brooke, who simply nodded again. Careful not to disturb her or Chloe, she moved behind her and began to gather Brooke’s thick, blonde hair into a messy bun. Nearly as soon as Christine had stepped away, Michael entered. His face was pensive as he reported, “The nurse is out for the day.” At this, Brooke looked up fully, her face blank. “Out for the day?” “Yeah, I’m so sorry. How is she?” Jeremy took over updating Michael, while Jake and Christine were deep in conversation about possible alternatives. Rich burst through the bathroom door announcing, “No custodians are in.” Brooke simply raised her eyebrow at this, causing Rich to take notice of the duos position. A moment of silence and she finally spoke. “All the teachers are in a meeting with the principal, right?” The responding quiet gave her the answer, and she sighed. “I’ve got my car, does anyone know how far the hospital is?” “About a mile from here” Rich piped up. Another sigh, and then Jake asked, “nothing you do is getting her to respond?” “No. The best I could do was get the screaming to stop, but she’s obviously in pain.” The tightness in Brooke's voice as she said this made Jeremy come forward and wrap his arms around her, whispering something to her that seemed to relax her. “If we’re gonna go, we should probably double-check that we all have our licenses “ Christine noted, with an apologetic glance toward Brooke. “I have a feeling that if you were in the backseat with her, she’d respond best to you being there.” Brooke nodded her assent, and Michael pulled out his license. Brooke reached into her pocket and pulled out her car keys, passing them to Michael without a word. She was about to stand when she remembered that Chloe's head was laying across her chest. Easing her off gently, she stood and scooped her up into her arms instead, prompting a small groan from Chloe. Taking this as the all-clear, everyone moved at once. Michael raced out to start the car, Christine began to gather everyone's bags and Rich and Jake rushed forward to offer help to Brooke. Brooke declined, however, opting to continue carrying Chloe. She headed out into the parking lot, squinting against the hot, bright sun. Inside Chloe's brain, the forming shape had begun to take on a familiar corporal form.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael brought the car around, and Rich quickly ran to open the passenger side door so that Brooke could get and help settle Chloe. Jeremy and Jake were the next to get in, as Christine loaded all of the bags into the trunk. With everyone in the car, they took off at high speed. Brooke resumed her whispering, murmuring “c’mon Chlo, I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but I swear it’ll be alright.” They reached the hospital, and in a flash, everyone had unbuckled their seatbelts and piled out of the car. Christine went to go get a nurse, while Jeremy headed to the front desk to explain the situation. Rich and Jake went to grab everyone's IDs and necessary documents. Michael went to park the car, and was shocked to find everyone waiting outside. “Wha-” Jeremy cut him off with a glance in Brooke's direction. A good thing too, because if her flushed cheeks and expression were any indication, she was not in the mood for questions. “They turned us away. Claimed that nothing was wrong at first glance, and that it wasn’t a real emergency.” Rich explained quietly. Dumbfounded, all Michael could do was stare. “I know, it’s completely messed up. It’s obvious to anyone that she’s in serious pain, and…” he lowered his voice even further, “I’ve never seen Brooke so mad.” “Of course!” Christine burst in, “You saw the way she was holding onto her, she couldn’t even handle it when Chloe broke her leg that time in 7th grade. Whatever is going on, it’s serious, and it’s getting to Brooke.” They glanced over to Brooke, and with great surprise, noticed her handing Chloe off to Jake. Jake took her into his arms, careful not to disturb her too much. Brooke leaned forward, kissing Chloe on the forehead, and disappearing into the hospital. A few beat’s later, and Brooke exited, clutching her wrist and wincing. Jake was staring at her with what looked like a mixture of sympathy and a hint of… pride? Brooke came up to the group and with no other words, gestured to the car. Micheal went to bring it closer, Brooke in tow. With her out of earshot, Jake explained, “She punched the wall.” Whatever the group had expected him to say, this was not it. “She… what?” Jeremy choked out. “Punched the wall, you heard him Heere!” Rich exclaimed, glancing in Brookes direction with clear admiration. “Figured she was mad.” Nobody else had any response to this, and were spared having to think of one by the car pulling up. As they all piled in again, Jake handed Chloe off to Brooke again, taking extra care again, this time as to not jolt her wrist, which he figured was sprained or broken. Brooke had told Michael where the next destination was, which became evident as he pulled into Brooke's driveway. “The spare key is under the mat, feel free to make yourselves at home.” Brooke said to nobody in particular as they exited the car. She declined Jake's offer to take Chloe again, murmuring her thanks as she began the process of removing Chloe from the car, wincing slightly as she shifted her weight into her arms. The door unlocked, the group stood as though at attention as Brooke quickly slipped off her shoes and made her way to her bedroom, setting Chloe down onto her queen-sized bed. She quickly slipped into the bathroom, locating an ace bandage and securing it onto her wrist. She returned to her bedroom and proceeded to make Chloe a bit more comfortable, settling her in among the pillows and draping a blanket over her. She was about to head into the living room when she looked over at Chloe again. The sight of her best friend, usually so quick witted and smart so vulnerable made her walk over to the bed instead. Sitting, she adjusted Chloe, uttering an apology as Chloe let out a slight gasp in response to being moved. She was in a partial state of unconsciousness, not able to respond to what was going on around her in words, but still aware in a way. 

Brooke must have picked up on this as she settled herself and Chloe into a position that was comfortable. Something about the elevation seemed to help the remaining pain, which was why when Christine walked in, it was to find Brooke on the bed with Chloe's head resting against her chest, curled up. “How is your wrist?” she asked softly. Brooke looked down at her wrist, holding it up to display the ace bandage and replying, “It’s okay, thank you. I’m just wondering what we’re supposed to do now.” Christine complentated this, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, toying with the crocheted blanket that was folded neatly across the foot of the massive mattress. “I guess just try to keep her comfortable. I had a theory about what happened. Brooke looked on, clearly interested. “ Do you remember what it felt like when the SQUIP first took over?” Brooke cringed, clearly not wanting to discuss it, but nodding. “It was excruciating pain, and that was when it was getting settled. I know we got rid of it, but what if it still stayed there, and we just disabled it?” Brooke arched an eyebrow, encouraging Christine to continue her theory. “We have every reason to believe that the SQUIP would lie about how to get rid of it. It could have planted the idea in Rich’s brain, just in case Jeremy couldn’t go through with it’s plan.” They sat in tense silence, each of them testing the theory in their minds. “I guess” Brooke began slowly, “it could be a theory…” “Have you found yourself getting random headaches that feel like they're coming from deep in your brain?” Christine blurted out randomly. Brookes eyes widened, and casting her eyes down she went, “Yes. Just recently. Have you?” Christine nodded, and Brooke exhaled, blowing a stray strand of hair that had escaped her bun out of her face. Her features were scrunched up into a look of deep concentration as she complentated this newest development. Suddenly Jeremy burst into the room, and excitedly announced, “We have a theory!” Brooke and Christine exchanged a look of utter exasperation as Jeremy continued, sharing the same theory the girls had been discussing moments ago. 

Before they could explain that they had just considered that as well, the shape within Chloe's mind had finally broken through her defenses, reinstating itself deep into her brain, where it had been not too long ago. “Have you missed me? it asked softly, surveying. “So sorry for the inconvenience. But when we get banished, the process to come back can be rather painful. Don’t worry though, once the first person has gone through it, it’s a fairly quick and painless process to restore the rest. But you’re no good to me unconscious. Wake, you know what to do.” Releasing one final scream, Chloe woke in Brooke's arms. “Hey Chlo, you're okay.” Brooke reassured her. “Brooke…” Chloe began, about to warn her about the SQUIP’s return, when she felt her vocal cords tightening. Her eyes widening, she tried again to no avail. ‘Don’t you remember Chloe? I am in control now’ the voice in her head reminded her. ‘You’ll render my whole plan ineffective if you get rid of me so quickly. So nobody can know that I’m back quite yet.” A pause and, ‘The longer you hold out, the longer I’ll refrain from awakening Brookes squip.’ It had her there. If it meant keeping the SQUIPS control away from Brooke, she would just have to hold out. Sensing this stalemate, the SQUIP smiled and stated, ‘I’ll be back later. Go ahead and recover. Just remember not to mention me.’ Brooke was looking at her with concern, so she pasted on a huge smile and went, “Thanks Brooke. I am so sorry about that.” “It’s okay! I’m just so glad that you're okay.” Chloe noted with a pang the ace bandage wrapped around Brookes wrist and reached out to touch it, her eyes asking the question for her. Brooke pulled it back slightly, and Chloe didn’t push the issue further. “How are you feeling?” Brooke inquired gently. “I’m fine. At least, it doesn’t feel like a mini apocalypse broke out in the middle of my head.” In response, Brooke helped her up, taking her time to make sure that she wasn’t moving too quickly. Once downstairs, she took in the group that had assembled. Jake moved forward and gave her a hug, Christine swooping in after him. Rich, Jeremy and Michael came over, each of them peppering her with questions. ”Easy guys! she just woke up” Brooke reprimanded. “It’s okay Brooke, really. Thank you though.” She tried to respond as best she could, taking care not to mention the SQUIP. Her answers seemed to satisfy the group, as they all settled down and began to mill around. Christine had the idea of ordering pizza for dinner, and they all fell into a comfortable conversation, with the knowledge that Chloe was in their eyes okay, and that food was on the way. She excused herself quickly, claiming she needed to use the bathroom. She passed through Brookes' room, a place she knew even better than her own. The particularly bad nights had left her crawling through Brookes window to escape more than a few times. Once she had made it to the bathroom, she sat, pulling her knees up to her chest. ‘I’m ready’ she thought. Almost immediately, the SQUIP responded. ‘All right Ms. Valentine. Are you prepared to become the perfect person?’ ‘What?’ she questioned. ‘That’s why I came back. I hate leaving a project halfway, especially one with such raw potential.’ She said nothing to this, and the SQUIP continued on. ‘Most popular girl in the school, stunning features and style. You’re a gold mine! Not to mention having the second most stunning girl in school as a friend. But you do have one slight issue.’ ‘Oh? What’s that?’ ‘Those pesky emotions. Let me take over! I can take your emotions and shut them off as easily as shutting off a water faucet.’ Clearly proud of this speech, the SQUIP paused, waiting. ‘No!’ Chloe insisted immediately. ‘I don’t need to be perfect, or a robot.’ She rose and was halfway to the door when an electric shock went through her. Gasping slightly, she tried to pick herself off the ground, where she had fallen. ‘So we can’t very well convince you using you. For a well known diva, you are shockingly non self serving. We have other ways of convincing you to listen.’ ‘Oh really?’ ‘Yes. I am inside your mind, I know your weaknesses.’ Chloe hesitated and sensing this, the SQUIP continued. “I know that your best friend means the world to you. I also know that I can easily control her as I can you.’ ‘Leave Brooke ALONE!’ A beat. ‘I can easily. I don’t need her. Submit your control to me, and I’ll be sure to leave her be.’ Chloe took a deep breath and quiet as could be, agreed. ‘I’m sorry, what was that?’ Barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she repeated her agreement. The SQUIP smiled, and nodded. Within no time at all, the change was complete. ‘Chloe Katlyn Valentine, are you ready for the new you?’ ‘Yes.’ Her eyes glowed electric pink, and as soon as the glow faded, the SQUIP smiled in a self satisfied fashion. ‘Very good Ms. Valentine. Let’s get going.’ She headed downstairs, where she encountered her friends. The relief was clear on Brooke's face, and she moved to the side in order to make room for Chloe. The pizza had arrived, and they all fell into a comfortable silence as they ate, enjoying their food. The SQUIP kept shockingly quiet, keeping any and all commentary to itself. The group's overall mood was especially cheerful now, though she noted Brooke's worried glances. Seeing that Chloe was looking over at her, Brooke shot her a huge smile. Without being able to help it, Chloe flushed pink. What was that? She asked herself. It wasn’t like Brooke hadn't smiled at her before. But what exactly made this time different, and why was she blushing? ‘You are lucky to have me Ms. Valentine. That is love.’ the SQUIP informed her. Oh! ‘And it’s disgusting.’ the SQUIP interjected. ‘All human emotions are, but that one in particular can really mess you up. Distract you from your goals.’ Well if that was how it made you feel, maybe goals weren’t so important… A shock went through Chloe as soon as she thought this, causing her to wince. ‘Are you really going to let yourself get thrown off track that easily?’ the SQUIP demanded in disgust. ‘I knew you would prove to be a hard case, but I wasn’t expecting this.’ Huh, love. Such a strange feeling. Immediately she began to panic. If Brooke felt the same way… no. She knew how bad she had hurt her in the past, just the fact that they were still best friends was a credit to Brooke’s kindheartedness. Allowing Brooke to get closer, that just couldn’t happen. Not because she didn’t want it, she did. More than anything. It wasn’t that, but that she knew how it would end. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt Brooke again, even if unintentionally. Their friendship she could handle, but getting deeper and more involved? She couldn’t do that to her. As soon as that panic had come, it had left. ‘Your welcome.’ the SQUIP proclaimed. ‘What was that?’ she thought to herself. ‘I’m taking those miniscule little insecurities and amplifying them. Best way to prevent those feelings, until you allow me to shut them down completely.’ When she gave no response, the SQUIP went silent. “So who’s up for a sleepover?” Brooke asked. A chorus of assent went up from the group, and Chloe was about to respond when her phone went off. “Me and Frankie are coming home, his sons are gonna take your room. Try and find someplace to crash tonight will you?’’ Her mother. She exhaled softly, texting back, “I will.” Leave it to her mother to not know that she hadn’t been living at home in ages. She wondered if she even remembered anything about that night that had landed her on Rich and Jakes doorstep. “I’m in too!” she announced. As arrangements were made, an insistent buzzing came from the back of her brain, the SQUIP making its presence known. “All right, this is unfortunate.” an all to familiar voice deadpanned in her head. “You did not just-“ “Believe me Chloe it wasn’t my choice. Though this is better than being you.” Ignoring the jibe, Chloe looked over to her side and then focused again. “It’s like an exact replica,” she marveled. “Oh but when I was you it wasn’t?” “No, you couldn’t do me justice. Nobody could. But this I have to admit is a… pretty good one.” “This is how you view her. We are set to default to the one person you are most likely to respond to. I’m surprised, considering you’ve treated her like you have.” Something about hearing these words, so casually come out of Brooke, in her voice, stung. Not that it was unwarranted. “So you had to become Brooke? This wasn’t bad enough?” “Nope, apparently not” Chloe couldn’t help but feel a thrill at seeing that same smile she’d come to love. It was almost exactly Brookes, just with a sly, almost sarcastic shadow to it that made it something the real Brooke had never given her before. She was way too kindhearted for it. Only that, and the electric pink glow that replaced Brooke's vivid green eyes gave clues that she wasn’t just daydreaming about Brooke. Which Chloe may have done once or twice.


End file.
